Haprutbat Captailtal is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, kind hamster.

Haprutbat Captailtal created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Haprutbat Captailtal, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Haprutbat Captailtal, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Haprutbat Captailtal's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Haprutbat Captailtal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Erect six lead sculptures of Haprutbat Captailtal on top of important buildings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Haprutbat Captailtal.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must never eat spinach.