Cutkinwapgem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered walrus.

Cutkinwapgem created the Tadpole Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutkinwapgem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cutkinwapgem, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cutkinwapgem's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cutkinwapgem's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cutkinwapgem first in all things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Cutkinwapgem in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Hide if nine geese approach from the east.