Zentongess is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, strong squirrel.

Zentongess created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zentongess, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zentongess, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zentongess' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zentongess' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Zentongess four times a day.

2. Never hurt mice.

3. Never feed bananas to dolphins while wearing purple shirts.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Zentongess.