Cemkadten is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, confident eagle.

Cemkadten created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemkadten, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cemkadten, he will turn you into a sheep.

Cemkadten's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Cemkadten's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed lots of gooseberries to pigs while wearing mauve tights.

3. Never feed peanuts to hamsters while wearing jumpers.

4. Always treat doves with great respect.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.