Yattfitbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring snake.

Yattfitbonk created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattfitbonk, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yattfitbonk, she will destroy your home solar system.

Yattfitbonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Yattfitbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near doves while wearing white coats and balancing five silver spheres on your head.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Yattfitbonk.

5. Never hurt frogs.