Bapfonkad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, tranquil meerkat.

Bapfonkad created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapfonkad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bapfonkad, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bapfonkad's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bapfonkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Never sing in the presence of nematodes.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never wear brown scarves.