Gompasrut is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, boastful capybara.

Gompasrut created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Gompasrut, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gompasrut, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gompasrut's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gompasrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dolphins.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gompasrut on top of all buildings.

4. Gompasrut loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.