Labdagkad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witty tortoise.

Labdagkad created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labdagkad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Labdagkad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Labdagkad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Labdagkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick manatees.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always treat eagles with great respect.

4. Worship no other gods but Labdagkad.

5. Never think about asteroids.