Vanminhen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, narcissistic fly.

Vanminhen created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanminhen, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vanminhen, he will have a low opinion of you.

Vanminhen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Vanminhen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Vanminhen in the centre of the settlement.

2. Vanminhen loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. You must never eat oranges.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.