Bonkpibwon Stanyarlrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, wise swallow.

Bonkpibwon Stanyarlrutt created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkpibwon Stanyarlrutt, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bonkpibwon Stanyarlrutt, he will have a low opinion of you.

Bonkpibwon Stanyarlrutt's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Bonkpibwon Stanyarlrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. You must pray to Bonkpibwon Stanyarlrutt seven times a day.

5. Do not cook food in pots.