Bumtal is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, charitable gorilla.

Bumtal created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumtal, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bumtal, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bumtal's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bumtal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt whales.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Do not take Bumtal's name in vain.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help sick birds.