Arfpidstig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent guinea pig.

Arfpidstig created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfpidstig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arfpidstig, he will destroy your home planet.

Arfpidstig's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Arfpidstig's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always look after injured grasshopers.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always wear white.

5. Erect eight gold sculptures of Arfpidstig on top of important buildings.