Gebgilpit is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gebgilpit created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebgilpit, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gebgilpit, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gebgilpit's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gebgilpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Never paint your chest orange.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not hurt ducks.