Kipvabwad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, moody wren.

Kipvabwad created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Kipvabwad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kipvabwad, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kipvabwad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kipvabwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Hide from yellow seals for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not take Kipvabwad's name in vain.