Bigarftin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, happy sheep.

Bigarftin created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigarftin, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bigarftin, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bigarftin's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bigarftin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bigarftin.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Bigarftin loves gulls, so they must be respected.