Barndosshas is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, impressive fairy.

Barndosshas created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Barndosshas, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Barndosshas, he will boil you in a big pot.

Barndosshas' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Barndosshas' Holy Commandments

1. Barndosshas loves mice, so they must be respected.

2. Run away if five manatees approach from the north.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Barndosshas.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.