Japominfot is a god.

It takes the form of a large, charitable pig.

Japominfot created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japominfot, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Japominfot, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Japominfot's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Japominfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Never think about thermodynamics.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Japominfot.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never write about spacetime.