Vigfubcam is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, caring meerkat.

Vigfubcam created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigfubcam, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vigfubcam, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vigfubcam's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vigfubcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about spacetime near squirrels while wearing magenta shirts.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Never mention voles.

5. Feed all hungry aardvarks.