Arfflowfem is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, proud bird.

Arfflowfem created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfflowfem, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Arfflowfem, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Arfflowfem's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Arfflowfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Put Arfflowfem first in all things.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never write about eukaryotes.