Bagquampag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, overgenerous spider.

Bagquampag created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagquampag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bagquampag, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bagquampag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bagquampag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help frogs in need.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Pray towards the east.