Apploptap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, wise shark.

Apploptap created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Apploptap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Apploptap, she will be very unhappy.

Apploptap's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Apploptap's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near frogs while wearing fawn shorts and balancing six lead spheres on your head.