Milpitrow Cundonjat Mighatlam is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, loving jaguar.

Milpitrow Cundonjat Mighatlam created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Milpitrow Cundonjat Mighatlam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Milpitrow Cundonjat Mighatlam, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Milpitrow Cundonjat Mighatlam's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Milpitrow Cundonjat Mighatlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan coats.

2. You must pray to Milpitrow Cundonjat Mighatlam five times a day.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never paint your legs blue.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.