Gepfomwee is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, sapient lizard.

Gepfomwee created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gepfomwee, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gepfomwee, he will throw large rocks at you.

Gepfomwee's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gepfomwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Do not hurt sheep.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gepfomwee.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Run away if four squirrels approach from the north.