Flagpagten Bognadhim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured mole.

Flagpagten Bognadhim created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flagpagten Bognadhim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flagpagten Bognadhim, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Flagpagten Bognadhim's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Flagpagten Bognadhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. You must never eat bread.