Safnuttcem Vabxuckmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, impressive frog.

Safnuttcem Vabxuckmeg created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safnuttcem Vabxuckmeg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Safnuttcem Vabxuckmeg, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Safnuttcem Vabxuckmeg's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Safnuttcem Vabxuckmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never hop near voles.