Larpcitaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart cobra.

Larpcitaf created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larpcitaf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Larpcitaf, it will turn you into a goat.

Larpcitaf's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Larpcitaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick nematodes.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Do not cook food in pots.