Matsogmiftafhakkenteen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, moody mink.

Matsogmiftafhakkenteen created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Matsogmiftafhakkenteen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Matsogmiftafhakkenteen, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Matsogmiftafhakkenteen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Matsogmiftafhakkenteen's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Matsogmiftafhakkenteen.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about birds.