Cadgatbep is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, generous cow.

Cadgatbep created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadgatbep, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cadgatbep, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Cadgatbep's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Cadgatbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about whales.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Cadgatbep loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.