Gamdinflap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tiresome mongoose.

Gamdinflap created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Gamdinflap, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gamdinflap, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gamdinflap's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gamdinflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.