Satquatgid is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, deceitful zebra.

Satquatgid created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Satquatgid, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Satquatgid, he will try to impress you with trees.

Satquatgid's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Satquatgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near turtles while wearing turquoise ear rings and balancing five silicon spheres on your neck.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Satquatgid.