Gamyatarn is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, competent monkey.

Gamyatarn created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamyatarn, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gamyatarn, she will throw large rocks at you.

Gamyatarn's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gamyatarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.