Zagtomdum is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, blissful zebra.

Zagtomdum created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtomdum, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zagtomdum, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Zagtomdum's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Zagtomdum's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. Do not eat spinach.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Never write about enzymes.