Aftabcip is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonest toad.

Aftabcip created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Aftabcip, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Aftabcip, he will turn you into a plant.

Aftabcip's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Aftabcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must pray to Aftabcip nine times a day.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.