Hastapzak is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, effective hedgehog.

Hastapzak created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hastapzak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hastapzak, he will turn you into a mouse.

Hastapzak's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Hastapzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick aardvarks.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Do not speak about wheat.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not kill sharks.