Ditbuggem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, thoughtless walrus.

Ditbuggem created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditbuggem, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ditbuggem, she will throw large rocks at you.

Ditbuggem's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Ditbuggem's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. You must love Ditbuggem.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.