Stafmetcap is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, able chinchilla.

Stafmetcap created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stafmetcap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stafmetcap, it will think nothing of it.

Stafmetcap's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Stafmetcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Stafmetcap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. Always help sick rats.