Wonlinweg is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fast hippopotamus.

Wonlinweg created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonlinweg, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wonlinweg, it will jump up and down on your head.

Wonlinweg's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Wonlinweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Feed all hungry great tits.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.