Hitzimapp is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous ant.

Hitzimapp created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitzimapp, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hitzimapp, it will turn you into a rock.

Hitzimapp's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Hitzimapp's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six bats approach from the south.

2. Do not kill sheep.

3. Feed all hungry tapirs.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Retreat if eight whales approach from the east.