Yarbiffud is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless salamander.

Yarbiffud created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarbiffud, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarbiffud, it will be mildly annoyed.

Yarbiffud's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Yarbiffud's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near sharks while wearing mauve corsets and balancing eight titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Run away from orange cats, for they are unholy.

5. Retreat if five tapirs approach from the east.