Pitvinflow is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, omnipotent alligator.

Pitvinflow created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitvinflow, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pitvinflow, it will turn you into a rock.

Pitvinflow's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Pitvinflow's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never feed onions to sheep while wearing purple corsets.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.