Minquattip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, awesome tapir.

Minquattip created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Minquattip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Minquattip, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Minquattip's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Minquattip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Minquattip in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always help sick badgers.

5. Do not covet oxen.