Fednellsom Fetgabrak is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, selfish swallow.

Fednellsom Fetgabrak created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fednellsom Fetgabrak, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fednellsom Fetgabrak, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fednellsom Fetgabrak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fednellsom Fetgabrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

2. Never record names.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Hide if eight mice approach from the west.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near monkeys while wearing green rings and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your arms.