Gonmip is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane ferret.

Gonmip created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonmip, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonmip, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gonmip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gonmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Do not hurt manatees.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Feed all hungry tapirs.

5. Do not shave your chest.