Tapfentadsid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, stupid elephant.

Tapfentadsid created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapfentadsid, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tapfentadsid, he will turn you into a hamster.

Tapfentadsid's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tapfentadsid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Feed all hungry eagles.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never feed carrots to grasshopers while wearing skirts.

5. Do not cook food in pots.