Nancin is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, staggering badger.

Nancin created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nancin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nancin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nancin's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Nancin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Pray towards the south.