Yarlquillgid is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish dugong.

Yarlquillgid created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlquillgid, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarlquillgid, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Yarlquillgid's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yarlquillgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Yarlquillgid on top of all buildings.

3. Erect nine tin sculptures of Yarlquillgid on top of important buildings.

4. Yarlquillgid loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.