Stanlitfom Kinfidmil is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, confident gorilla.

Stanlitfom Kinfidmil created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanlitfom Kinfidmil, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stanlitfom Kinfidmil, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stanlitfom Kinfidmil's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Stanlitfom Kinfidmil's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.