Tarpbudnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish alligator.

Tarpbudnurt created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbudnurt, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tarpbudnurt, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tarpbudnurt's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tarpbudnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to porpoises while wearing shorts.

2. Never paint your neck black.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Tarpbudnurt on top of all buildings.