Tigcebcen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent salamander.

Tigcebcen created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigcebcen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tigcebcen, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tigcebcen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tigcebcen's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always help sick mites.

4. Never wear orange rings.

5. Never feed wheat to tortoises while wearing indigo ear rings.