Somfedfen Tonklipnul is a god.

It takes the form of a large, pitiless eagle.

Somfedfen Tonklipnul created silver nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somfedfen Tonklipnul, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Somfedfen Tonklipnul, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Somfedfen Tonklipnul's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Somfedfen Tonklipnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about spacetime near voles while wearing magenta stockings.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Somfedfen Tonklipnul on top of all buildings.